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Past, Present & Future

God’s gifts and God’s call are under full warranty — never canceled, never rescinded. — Romans 11:29

This morning at Nina’s church I felt familiar pangs of longing. But this time was different from the last year. This time there was hope in my spirit.

I never realized how much I longed to be a missionary until I gave it up to spend a season at home seeking healing and wholeness. In the months after my resignation, I wept and mourned bitterly over what I had lost. It felt as if a significant piece of me had died. And with it, my hope in the future.

The door is open for me to go back at any time. And I’ve purposely structured my current work and life with the church plant in Nashville so that I keep that possibility alive.

I feel very strongly that I am exactly where I am supposed to be right now. And with my struggle with depression and current walk through grief, not to mention the pain of my first full year overseas, it has been hard for me to think far enough into the future to see myself going again overseas.

Yet… I cannot deny the pull on my heart. I cannot deny how my heart breaks for the world every day. I cannot deny how I seem to daily spot out of a crowd the various nationalities and cultures I see represented. I cannot deny how excited I feel, how my pulse races and my very spirit is inflamed when I think about building bridges between cultures, helping followers of Christ understand various worldviews and spot the God-moments in them, encouraging and developing in others an appreciation, even a passion, for learning about other cultures, interacting with them and building lasting relationships with people of other cultures and religions!

When I look at a map, I don’t see lines and countries. I see people. People of various ethnic groups and religions, with struggles and victories, convictions and fears, beliefs and needs. When I look at a map I think of the food the people eat, the weather they endure, the clothes they wear and the lives they lead. I wonder if they fear the same things I do, if they struggle with the same issues, if they long for the same things… I am in love with all the people I have met in my life, from Japan to Ethiopia, from India to Cyprus. Amazing people. Resilient, robust, beautiful, inquisitive, questioning, apathetic… they came in every size, shape and possibility. I remember each fondly, for who they are and what they taught me about life.

I don’t envy my friends overseas. I have lived that life and I know the sacrifices they make every day so that others may know Jesus the way we do. I admit, I love being able to drive on the right side of the road, read all the signs around me, communicate fluently with everyone I meet as I go about my daily routines (even if the accent throws me off many times). I love having an American style apartment with all its amenities, like consistent electricity, heat and a/c, hot water, shower heads and a western toilet. 🙂

Yet… Thanksgiving night, driving home from Toby’s sister’s home, my mind went unbidden to MLC (a learning center for Overseas Workers in Virginia), and I wondered how they had celebrated Thanksgiving. If they were giving the new crop of Workers a true taste of what celebrating Thanksgiving in a foreign country is really like. I spent Thanksgiving 2002 in Ethiopia. I saw first-hand how much we as Americans have to be thankful for. At the same time, I missed my family terribly. I was thankful, yet my heart was heavy. That’s part of the holiday experience for a missionary.

All weekend I have wrestled off and on with a sense of longing. One that I’ve never been able to fully identify. One I thought I’d categorized as a desire to be a missionary, to be “on mission” with God.

Perhaps that is what the longing is. But I don’t think it’s all it is. I just don’t know right now…

This morning’s message from Nina’s pastor, Jeff, continued to stir that longing, bringing the pangs so strong they continue to resonate in my soul. This overseas “thing” just will not let go of me.

What is my role in it? There was a time when I believed I was a “Mobilizer”. Then I thought I was a “Goer”. But I’ve done gone and come back… now what am I??

As Jeff preached and I contemplated, God whispered, “My gifts and My call are irrevocable…. they still apply to your life… you’re still a part of what I’m doing in the world… And, there’s time yet…”

Hope.

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Road Trip Weekend

I’m off to South Carolina tomorrow morning! Yay!! 6-day weekend… cool. 🙂 Except I don’t get paid… not so cool.

I’m so looking forward to the drive tomorrow. The mountains of Tennessee/Carolinas are so amazing!

But I’m most looking forward to the time with Nina… and Toby and Stephen.

I may or may not have time to post while there… I don’t know yet. Nina and I always manage to fill our days up solid. And it sounds like she’s got a lot planned already. I do have one plan for Nina, though. She commented on my blog recently (check it out) and now she’s got a blogspot account. Oh, yeah, baby! You know I gotta get her hooked up with it! Hey, I got Wendy and Larry here… why not my sister! Besides, she owes me a obsession or two. She’s the one who got me deep into Creative Memories. So deep I’m considering becoming a Creative Memories consultant. Crazy…

Well, I need to finish packing and get ready to go.

I pray you have an incredible Thanksgiving. And a fun-filled weekend, packed with the stuff memories are made of.


Nina and Lu – Big sis & little sis…

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Workin’ Girl

Well, actually, Pooped-Out-Quittin’-Time-Girl. I accomplished absolutely nothing on my own To-Do list. But I somehow managed to get all of Kerry’s To-Do list for me done. Whew. At least I can leave the office for the Holiday weekend knowing I’ve done all I could in the time I had. That’s a good feeling.

I was talking with Kat last night about work and realized that working for Kerry is a lot like working for Ken W. at PHE (Paramount Home Entertainment). Ken was probably the best boss I ever had (aside from my dad, who was my first boss). He was very laid back, quiet kind of guy — a Mormon, so he never cussed. Heck, Ken never got angry. He’d get frustrated at times, but even that was low-key. He never had the screaming cussing fits most senior executives in the entertainment industry have. Laid back, low-key, wicked, wicked sense of humor — we used to have cola wars over the AmTel machine (he was a Pepsi man; Me, I’m a Coke girl!) What a blessing he was as a boss!

On top of that, he answered his own phones. WooHoo!! You wanna win me over as a fan, and have me as an employee forever? Answer your own phones. I hate answering phones. It’s more the disruption of what I’m doing that gets me frustrated than it is the interaction. I don’t mind talking to people, I just hate having to stop what I’m doing and change my focus to what they — that disembodied voice on the other end — wants me to focus on. It can be especially annoying when I’m working on a project that requires concentration.

Anyway, Kerry is very similar to Ken in most ways. The exception is that Kerry is not as laid back as Ken. Nothing seemed to rattle Ken, or shake his confidence that the world wasn’t going to fall apart if Eric’s (the President of the PHE) every demand wasn’t met. And that was a tall order considering Eric was your typical Type-A, neurotic, overly needy industry senior executive. Yikes this guy was uptight.

Kerry has some of Eric’s uptight-ness. Not a lot of it –and he’s in no way close to Eric! But it’s there nonetheless. That sense you get when the exec is just too burned out to think straight anymore. And no wonder. The guy’s been through hell this last year, for a variety of reasons. He really needs a long vacation away from any sort of communications devices. I doubt he’ll get it. Or take it if he did. But he needs it.

Other than his tightly wound springs, Kerry could be Ken’s twin… Smart, hard working, respectful, kind, generous… I think he’s got Ken’s sense of humor too, but it’s taking a little time for him to feel comfortable enough with me to let it out. Or maybe I’m just a little too on the weird side for him. Which is entirely possible. My sensahumah ain’t for everybody. I discovered that truth the hard way…

The other thing they both share is the respect and esteem they give me. Ken would often ask my opinion on things, and he actually listened to me and took my opinions and thoughts seriously. Do you know how rare that is?? Let me tell you, it doesn’t come along but once, maybe twice in a career for an executive assistant. And Kerry treats me in the same manner. He actually seems to value my opinion, wants and seeks out my thoughts and ideas. Very rare. And very cool.

I know I have good stuff, quality stuff to offer the world. Not to everyone, I realize. At least not at first. I couldn’t tell Larry how to improve his sand sculptures in a million years. But let me get down in the sand and work with him on a dozen or so and I can pretty much guarantee that I’d have suggestions and thoughts and ideas. Would he listen to me, even though he’s been doing it for 24 years and I’d been there only a few months? I think he would. Because he’s my friend.

But it’s a different story when you’re digging in the sand with your boss. They tend to be, well… bossy. 🙂 They have their ideas, their ways, their wants and desires, and I’ve learned that to have a “happy” workplace I must make the boss happy, regardless of how I feel about the matter.

And that’s really as it should be. It’s his name on the line, after all, not mine. At the end of the day, I go home and that’s that. At the end of Kerry’s day he’s still carrying around the multiple crosses he’s been given by the president. It’s the price he pays for the VP title. And he gets the wages as compensation. Personally speaking, I think I’d rather have my life as compensation and just take the miniscule wages of an assistant, and the crap of an executive on stress overload, as my price. From my perspective, my seat on the bus is the better one. But that’s just me… I like life better than work. And I don’t see my work as my life. And I’m drifting way off topic.

Kerry and Ken are those rare breeds of bosses that actually let their assistants help shape the ideas, designs, projects and final products. I often lamented that I let Ken slip through my fingers… he wanted to hire me, came just shy of begging me to stay. But I was already committed to going overseas as a missionary. Being Mormon, he had a deep respect for that calling on my life, so he let it alone. Once overseas, I desperately missed all that Ken was and begged God for another chance at working with him one day. When I came back last year, I met his assistant and quit asking God for that. Ken has THE MOST incredible assistant. She is perfect for him in every way. And I would never deny him the blessing of her, just to satisfy my own selfish desires. So instead I started praying for another boss like Ken….

Now I have Kerry.

But there’s a twist to this particular story that I don’t think I’ll get into here, because this post is too long as it is. I’ll sum my dilemma up by repeating what I told Kat last night: “I have a real problem with organizations that mix Christianity and politics. It’s not that I don’t think Christians should be politically active. It’s that I don’t agree with Christians using the external forces of politics to shape culture when what Jesus calls us to be is Soul Revolutionaries: shaping culture from the inside out. Change the laws and you just have strict laws which the people resent (and if you don’t think the people resent the morals-based voting take a look here or here as a couple of examples). However, change people’s hearts and what they value and you’ll actually shape culture. From the inside out. The way Jesus did.”

I’ll address this issue more in a future post….

For now, however, let me just meditate on a small revelation that came as I typed the last couple of paragraphs…. I asked God for another Ken… and got Kerry. God’s kept the doors to all other jobs resolutely closed at the moment. Frustratingly closed. CMT didn’t ever call back. I’ve applied at EMI three times now. Thomas Nelson could plaster their walls with my resume. I’ve applied for so many jobs. Even temp agencies aren’t calling back. Do I have “Loser” stamped in invisible ink on my resume or something????

Or… is God doing something here, something He’s choosing to keep a little hidden from me at the moment?

Sure wish I knew.

In the meantime, I’m still a Workin’ Girl. Grateful to God for the income — it doesn’t cover all my bills, but it sure helps keep me outa the po’house. And grateful for the boss. It’s nice to be respected for the intelligence and creativity I bring to the table.

But, really. Who are we kidding… Who can resist my delightful charms!

…why are you laughing?

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Kinder Mat and Pillow Please

Oh.my.gosh. I am definitely tired. Daniel just came into my office and asked if I had a phone book. I asked, “what kind of phone book?” He said, “any kind.”

My answer?

pause. “Uh… No.” pause. “I don’t have any.”

Duh. And the reason I asked what kind…? Stallin’ for time. Proof positive my brain is working even when I’m still asleep. It was smart enough to stall so I could have a few more seconds to figure out what in the heck Daniel was talkin’ about. “A phone wha…??”

Yeah, I’m awake.

Jeez… this is gonna be a fun day…

PS — My excuse: I was at the office till 10pm last night. And then I couldn’t shut my brain off, so I didn’t fall asleep until after 3am.

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My Number Is Up

Okay, I admit it. I’m still at work… and I should be working. But I’ve had a crazy day — I still have yet to start on the day’s main, and only, project. It got moved back, and back, and back…. because of a couple of media calls that came in. Mmm-mmm-mmm… drama, drama, drama… I’m tellin’ ya. I thought I’d escaped the producer melodrama thing by moving to Nashville. Nope. News producers can be just as over-the-top ranting as TV producers. Drama, drama, drama…

Anyway… now I don’t want to do anything. BUT I need to. Hence, my body still in my office, while my mind wanders the vastness of my imagination…

Ah, yes. Back to the reason for this post. My fingers did a little wandering of their own, and found this fun little quiz. Seems my number is 5, yes, 5.

Nooo, that is NOT my age — though it IS my shoe size!! Hee-hee! Nya-nya to all you bigfeet out there! — it’s also NOT my IQ, despite my behavior in this post. It’s:
“My Number” (insert dramatic music, with lots of “ooo”s and “aaahhh”s from the audience).

5
You Are the Investigator
You’re independent – and a logical analytical thinker.
You love learning and ideas… and know things no one else does.
Bored by small talk, you refuse to participate in boring conversations.
You are open minded. A visionary. You understand the world and may change it.

Yep. Nailed again. How do they do that???

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It IS About You, It IS About Me

“It’s not about you.”

It’s the latest mantra of western Christians. I suppose it could be credited it to the well-meaning, well-spoken words of Rick Warren in his book, “Purpose Driven Life”. However, I think we in the Body of Christ have come to misuse and abuse this saying. It’s become a stick we beat people with instead of an encouragement to build people up, and help them refocus their lives on God’s purpose for them.

I heard it again tonight. Well meant, I’m sure. But completely misused and, in part, abusive. It felt like a complete slap in the face. As if all that God had been revealing to me, all that God has been doing in my heart and soul over the last two years is a lie. That I am being selfish and self-centered to even want God to care about me or about my “trials”.

The Truth I’ve come to find in God’s Word, and in my own experience with Him over the last couple of years, is that it IS about me. It really IS. About. ME.

God is so very in love with me. With me of all people! His life, His existence, His focus is all about showing me just how truly, madly, deeply He loves me, how He strongly He longs to have an intimate divinely sweet relationship with me, how He wants nothing more than to pour out into me all the love and grace and mercy and gentleness and kindness and joy and so much more that He has… to pour all that He is and has into me every second of the day, how He has so many mysteries and secrets and passions He is desperate to share with me. From the moment I wake up to the moment I wake the following morning and round again, I am on His mind. I am the focus of His attention. I am the apple of His eye.

Think of that! WE are on His mind, the Creator of the Universe thinks of nothing but US every second of every minute of every day of every month of every year forever.

Why do you think Jesus suffered the brutal death He did? For me. To give me Life.

Yes, yes, I know… He didn’t come just for me… or did He?

What is it we Christians always say to those we are leading to Christ? “Even if you were the only person on earth, Jesus would still have died for you.”

Why is it okay to say that to others and not to believe it ourselves? If I were the only person on earth Jesus would still have died for me. THAT’S how much He loves me.

I think we don’t really believe that line we feed our potential “converts”. We believe it for, and about, them at that moment. But not for and about ourselves. And once a person commits their lives to Christ, we do a bait-and-switch and tell them “its not about you, it’s about them.” As if now that God has us, He no longer cares about our wants, needs, hurts, desires, longings.

So wrong. So very wrong.

Long before he laid down earth’s foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son… Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone. — Eph 1:4-6, 11-12 (The Message)

“Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! — Jesus (Matt 7:9-11)

I am my beloved’s, and his desire is for me. — Song of Songs 7:10

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More Gate Coming

WooHoo My favorite show is back for another season! Trivial news to you, perhaps. But given that I have four of the previous seven seasons on dvd, you could kinda say I’m a bit of a fanatic. I even named my car “Col. O’Neill” after one of the lead characters. It’s an old, cranky man that doesn’t follow orders, complains a lot, but has a wicked sense of humor and is usually right, just like the “other” Col O’Neill (“two Ls, there’s another Col. O’Neil, with only one L… He has no sense of humor.”).

SCI FI OPENS THE ‘GATES’ TO MORE ADVENTURES
…SG-1 Ties for Longest-Running Sci-Fi Drama

In response to overwhelming viewer demand, SCI FI Channel has ordered a new season of its highest-rated and most successful original series, Stargate SG-1, from MGM Television Entertainment. Production on a new 20-episode season is set to begin in March 2005 for summer premiere on SCI FI.

As Stargate SG-1 returns for an astounding ninth original season, it ties The X-Files as the longest-running sci-fi drama series on American television. MGM is currently in negotiations with the original cast for their return.

New episodes of SG-1 return in January 2005.

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Rest

Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

I always thank God for you because of his grace given you in Christ Jesus. For in him you have been enriched in every way–in all your speaking and in all your knowledge – because our testimony about Christ was confirmed in you. Therefore you do not lack any spiritual gift as you eagerly wait for our Lord Jesus Christ to be revealed. He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful. — 1 Corinthians 1:3-9

Still in my pjs… just spending time with the Lord, listening to Rita Springer and worshipping along with her. It’s nice to have Fridays off. To have the apartment to myself. To rest and just enjoy God’s presence in this place. To take time out from the worries and struggles and darkness of my life and just be at peace.

Peace.
In Christ I have all I need. I lack no spiritual gift. And He will keep me strong to the end. He is faithful.

Amen. And Amen.

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Arise?

I fell out of bed this morning.

No, really. I fell out of bed.

Realizing I was running late, I sat bolt upright in bed. Perhaps that was my first mistake. The room seemed to sway a little.

I tend to sleep in the middle of my bed, which is a standard double, and that’s where I found myself this morning. So I scooch over to the left side. I always get out of the left side of bed. Even though my bathroom is on the right side of the bed, I always get out on the left. Don’t ask me why. I just do.

So, anyway, I scooch over to the side and go to stand up. Now, my bed is one of those pillowy soft beds. So it’s rather tall. I can’t sit on it and still have my feet on the floor. Consequently, when I go to stand up from sitting on my bed, I have to slide my butt down the side a little before my feet hit the floor.

Something happened between the butt-sliding and the feet-hitting. I have no idea what. I just know I was suddenly very aware that the floor was rushing at my face at a rapid speed.

Then I heard a loud thud and felt a sharp pain in my forehead. Things came crashing down all around me. Books, my glasses, my journal. I looked up to see what I’d hit my head on and found my bed stand staring defiantly back at me. Wood can be very unforgiving.

I ended this journey on all fours, surrounded by the pillows I’d discarded from my bed last night, books, an open journal and a dvd — where that came from, I don’t even want to guess.

I was mad. I don’t know who I was mad at. I don’t even know who to be mad at in such a situation. But I was mad. My head hurt like crazy. I was confused. I wasn’t even fully awake, for goodness sake! Someone should pay for this!

I’d like to say I stormed into the bathroom in my rage. But I was still too dazed from my trip to the floor to storm anywhere. And I’m getting too old to to do that first thing in the morning anyway. I’m so stiff when I first get up that I look more like a duck than a lady. Lovely.

So I waddle into the bathroom and start my morning routine. It wasn’t until I was in the shower that I finally woke up enough to realize how ridiculously funny this whole thing was. And then I couldn’t stop laughing.

Not the healthiest thing when you’re face is under a strong spray of water…

So, that’s how I started off my day.

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Of Roots & Dreams

Larry and I have been having an interesting discussion in the comments of his Generosity-of-dreams post. Here’s his latest comment to me:

One of the first gifts God gave me when He brought me back to Himself was the idea that “the first bricks go on the bottom.” Churches and sermons are full of fire and zip, and the implication is that we’re supposed to be instant Christians. Just add Jesus.

I’ve held to that idea ever since. I’m not going to allow myself to be buffaloed into overextending myself, as I’ve done in the past. I’ll let the bandwagon just roll on by, and I’ll keep walking in the belief that Jesus is holding my hand and that we’ll catch up with the bandwagon if we need to.

I think there is a lot more to the life that God wants to give me. Us. All of us. We don’t, however, have the patience of the oak tree that spends its first few years making roots so that a four-inch tree has a six-foot root underneath.

I believe that God’s life needs that root. I believe that there is much more to the life He wants to give us, but we can’t live without the root.

In short, I think you’re doing fine. You’re making roots. Sometime, if you just simply keep following Jesus, you’ll find out what your heart desires and He will give it to you. Being enraptured by Jesus’ glorious face is, I believe, where we start.

We’re used to living in a desert. If God were to dump all of what He wants to onto us we’d choke. It’s like feeding someone who has been starving for years: you don’t put him before a table loaded with pizza and steak. You start with broth.

God is a most excellent builder. He will do for us what He has promised.

His comment brought such hope to me! And a spark of life. This is what I miss from LA. I miss my Life Group. I miss my friends like Wendy, Ron and Leticia. I miss the times we had of communing together; with our hearts and souls intermingling, so that we shared in each other’s struggles and pain. Not just a time where we shared “prayer requests” but where we shared our hearts. They were safe places I knew I could bear my soul without condemnation or judgment, where it was okay to be who and where I was right then, where I could get words of encouragement and hope that spread across my whole being like a healing balm…. I think Larry’s found that with Nate and Debbie, and I envy him. I envy Wendy and her close proximity to all our other friends…

Ah, but that is rabbit to chase another time… right now I want to go back to the idea of growing roots.
Larry said:
“I believe that God’s life needs that root. I believe that there is much more to the life He wants to give us, but we can’t live without the root. In short, I think you’re doing fine. You’re making roots..

As I began my reply to him, an image popped into my head. A dream I’d had in ’97. Yes, I know. It’s a bit freaky that I remember a dream from that far back in my life. Even more freaky is that I remember it with vivid clarity. I also remember God’s interpretation, which came the following morning, with the same vivid clarity.

Now before you get even more wigged out that I’m going all “charismatic” on ya 🙂 (my apologies to my charismatic friends), this is an unusual thing for me. I don’t normally have dreams interpreted by God. In Love with Jesus I am. But Daniel or Joseph I am not (however, I have suddenly developed a strange affinity for talking like Yoda… weird).

The dream starts with me coming out of my parents church in Riverside (which, in the dream was my church… everyone at Magnolia Ave Bapt please stand and wave… thank you, you may sit down now…) As I approach my car, I realize all 4 tires have been slashed. Now what do I do? Suddenly, the church is no longer in Riverside, but in LA (for non-SoCal’s, they are about 50-60 miles apart) and I call my dad — in Riverside — and tell him what’s up. He says call AAA and have them get the tires okay enough to get out to him and we’ll go together to get new tires. I call AAA, they come and do their thing… but as the guy is leaving he tells me his is a very temporary and fragile fix. I cannot, repeat cannot go over 35mph, or my tires will explode and I will most likely cause a huge accident. The picture I got in my mind was of me killing myself and several others around me… Yikes!
I knew I needed to head straight out to dad’s, but I had so many errands I wanted to run! So, I ran them, all the while knowing my dad was waiting… patiently… for me to arrive so we could take care of the tires. I woke before arriving in Riverside, with this very uneasy feeling that lasted all morning… yet still feeling the warmth mixed with twinges of guilt of knowing my dad was patiently awaiting my arrival.

God interpreted the dream over a day later (Perhaps this was so there would be no mistaking both the dream and interpretation came from Him…). Driving home for Life Group God suddenly brought the dream back to mind my with stunning clarity. He pointed out that this was about my life; the tires represented “feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.” Eph 6:15 — Erwin had been going through the armor of God in his talks on Sundays, this one had been the previous Sunday’s… and the key word this piece of armor was “discipline.” God said, as long as I continued the way I was, I would still be okay, but I wouldn’t get where I wanted to go very fast. I was left with this feeling that He was waiting, patiently (as my dad was in the dream) for me, so we could get the “tires” replaced so I could go-go-go.

This dream and God’s interpretation has come back to “haunt” me at various points in my life. Almost like a quiet, “God said this would happen…” sigh of my spirit. Or perhaps God’s spirit in me…. I never heeded God’s warning back in ’97 to “take care of my tires”… not really. I’ve made good stabs at it. Worked at being disciplined in time in the Word, time with Him, in living a godly life. But I lack consistency, so I don’t think I’ve ever achieved it… I certainly don’t see myself as disciplined now.

Perhaps the dream is not just about discipline… Perhaps that’s just the human definition I put on it because that was the one closest at hand at the moment to understand “feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.” — which was very, very clearly stated by God (while the discipline wasn’t — I inferred it because of Erwin’s study)…. or perhaps part of growing roots is discipline… or part of discipline is growing roots…

The Amplified Bible puts verse 15 this way:
And having shod your feet in preparation [to face the enemy with the firm-footed stability, the promptness, and the readiness produced by the good news] of the Gospel of peace.

That would certainly imply discipline, at least in part. It doesn’t cover the whole of the verse… preparation is more than just discipline. It also involves practice, skill, alertness, a ready stance — like the feet spread that you get when you’re bracing yourself against a strong wind gust… just like a tree must have deep roots that will brace it, hold it steady, give it stability if it is to survive gale force or hurricane force winds…

“[Most] blessed is the man who believes in, trusts in, and relies on the Lord, and whose hope and confidence the Lord is. For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters that spreads out its roots by the river; and it shall not see and fear when heat comes; but its leaf shall be green. It shall not be anxious and full of care in the year of drought, nor shall it cease yielding fruit.” — Jer 17:7-8 Amp. Bible

I guess God is working on my feet, huh. I’m growing roots deep into the heart of God. That’s good. Because I just can’t seem to get enough of Him these days. So perhaps bigger, deeper, longer roots will help… I still need to work on the discipline thing… I need to become more consistent. I hope that part of God’s work on my feet will include helping me in this area too. ….Perhaps one day, someone will want to put this on my tombstone….

How beautiful upon the mountains were the feet of she who brought good tidings, who published peace, who brought good tidings of good, who published salvation, who said to Zion, Your God reigns! — Isa 52:7 Amp. Bible with Lu’s alterations