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And it’s here

Along with the beauty and color of spring comes something this little southern California girl is just not used to at all. Severe allergies.

I haven’t been able to breathe for a week. I’m congested worse that the 405 at rush hour with a Sig alert. I sneeze for hours at a time, rest a little, then start the sneezing again. My eyes water, my throat itches and I’m exhausted from all the energy this allergy thing requires. Even with so much beauty outside, I was too tired and allergy-ridden to go out and enjoy it. And that’s just wrong.

I wouldn’t trade the beauty of a Nashville spring for all the gold in the world. But I’d sure be willing to trade my sinuses in for a much less sensitive, much hardier model. Know where I can find one?

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It’s Here!

The trees have finally woken from their winter naps and are starting to get dressed. ‘Bout time. I was getting tired of seeing naked trees everywhere. For the last few weeks I’ve been yelling at them from my porch and out my car windows and sunroof, "Wake up and get dressed!! It’s Spring!!"

Out my windows today I saw trees dressed in purples and reds and whites and greens… little bitty leaves springing up all over the place. Even the grass is waking up. It’s getting green again and spouting up in places where only brown dormant plants lay just a few days ago. Beautiful. Abosutely beautiful.

I love Nashville.

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Respite

It’s 9pm and I’m sitting on my porch in sweats and a t-shirt. The summer critters are already playing their nightly symphony, even though its still only March. Yes, I LOVE Nashville! You can’t do this in LA. You just can’t. Not even in summer.

The wind is starting to kick up a little. We’re expecting another massive storm to roll through sometime tonight or early tomorrow. More thunder and lightning. Just my kind of weather.

Even though I worked till 8pm tonight and I’m dead tired from no sleep last night and lots of staring at a computer and working to finish a some reports today, I’m at peace. Life is good. Even when it’s hard, it’s good.

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Note to self

Don’t listen to Tony Nolan cds for 5 hours straight and then expect to be able to just fall into bed and into blissful sleep. Too much information, too many things to think about, too many ideas and passions get stirred up by each talk Tony gives. My brain just won’t shut off and my heart won’t shut up.

Dang… Insomnia wins this night. Uh, make that "morning."

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I’m Home

Safe and sound. Thanks for your prayers. Good drive, great time with God, beautiful scenery. What more could you ask for? Except, perhaps, for lower gas prices.

::sigh::

I guess I can’t have everything.

God is able to make you strong, just as the Good News says. It is the message about Jesus Christ and his plan for you, a plan kept secret from the beginning of time. But now as the prophets foretold and as the eternal God has commanded, this message is made known to all everywhere, so that they might believe and obey Christ. To God, who alone is wise, be the glory forever through Jesus Christ. Amen. — Romans 16:25-27

Enjoy the best of Jesus!

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Sweet Home South Carolina

Quickly grabbing a little wi-fi while it lasts. The neighbors seem to have caught on that their signal was so strong the whole neighborhood could log on…. it’s been very sporatic this weekend. Not that I’ve really tried all that much. Just did NOT feel like getting on the ‘net.

I’m having a great time at Nina’s! Got lots of things to write about… but, that will have to wait till I’m home.

I drive home tomorrow, so ask God for traveling safety for me as I make the 7 hr trek back to Nashville.

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Easter Road Trip

I’m off to Nina’s this afternoon after work. I’ll be back in town Tuesday night.  Not sure if I’ll have internet while I’m gone — and not sure I want to take the time to post. So if you don’t hear from me…

I pray your Easter brings refreshment and rest, and that your spirit is renewed with the hope of Christ.

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God’s Thunder

The thunder is rolling outside. One thunderstorm rolled through about an hour or so ago. Now another one approaches.

I absolutely love the sound of thunder. It reminds me of my childhood, watching thunderstorms roll through El Paso, and Casper, and Glorieta. Watching the lightning out the windows and counting the seconds until the crack of thunder. There’s such power in that sound — so you know there’s power in the lightning.

Many nights our first month or so in Delhi we would sit on our veranda, all 5 of us girls, and watch the storms roll across the city.  We were on the 4th floor, with a only a park in front of our building, so we had a good view of our surroundings. As we watched, inevitably someone would pick up the guitar and start playing a worship song. Before long we would all be singing praises to the Mighty God, He who made the thunder and rain. My prayers during those times were that God’s Spirit would sweep across the city like a storm, bright and loud and bringing cleansing rain.

I have a few friends who are deathly afraid of lightning and thunder. I’ve never understood that. To me the sound of thunder is comforting, soothing. Yes, great power is on display — and if you aren’t careful, you could end up on the wrong end of that power. But to fear it? To be frightened at every crack and rumble? I can’t imagine it.

Thunder is a beautiful sound to my ears. Like a great symphony, an amazing guitar lick or — or the drums coming in on Phil Collins’ "In The Air Tonight." I realized tonight how much I missed it when I stepped outside for a moment just in time to hear it rumble. It’s the rhythm that underscores and accentuates the rain. Without it the rain is, well, just wet. But add thunder and you have music. God’s music. Music in which He displays a hint of His power, celebrates life and brings life.

As a child my parents told me that thunder was God bowling. Perhaps that’s where my association with God and thunder began. Somewhere early in my life, however, God whispered to me that it wasn’t His bowling making the noise, it was His celebration of life.

Tonight as I read through the upper Psalms, I was struck by Psalm 99, particularly the first 4-5 verses.

The LORD reigns,
let the nations tremble;
he sits enthroned between the cherubim,
let the earth shake.
Great is the LORD in Zion;
he is exalted over all the nations.
Let them praise your great and awesome name-
he is holy.

The King is mighty, he loves justice-
you have established equity;
in Jacob you have done
what is just and right.
Exalt the LORD our God
and worship at his footstool;
he is holy.

As I read, I heard God whisper, "Think of it. That’s the One who stands in front of you and fights for you. That’s Me — your Lover."

I had always read these verses and believed my proper response should be fear. As I grew closer to the Lord, I couldn’t fit that belief into my shifting paradigm. I’m not afraid of God. I don’t fear Him at all. Yes, I know He’s all-powerful. But I also know how much and how deeply He loves me. He won’t hurt me. Not that I ever want to do anything that would make Him want to. I love Him very much and very deeply. Its the kind of love that so invades my very being that I just don’t want to hurt Him. I won’t allow myself to if I can at all help it. I don’t want to do that to Him.

But even with all that, reading passages of God’s might and how everyone and everything trembles and shakes before Him really left me with a dilemma that I couldn’t resolve: How am I supposed to respond to these verses?

God, in His whispering voice, answered my question, one I wasn’t even asking as I read.

My response can be the same as my response to thunder. I can rest in the comforting knowledge that all that power and might going on around me isn’t going to "get" me — instead, it is going before me. God stands in front of me, my Defender, my Champion; the One who fights for me.

I am such the quintessential girly-girl!! That hit me in the most needed places in my heart. I want to be championed. I want to be defended. I want to be fought for. And to think that all that power and all that might is on display to ward of my enemies, to defend me against attack, to fight for my honor and reputation, to stand between me and those who wish to take me captive… wow!

It’s a subtle shift in context, from looking at God as the Almighty to be feared —  which the Church these days often misnames "revered" or "respected" — to looking at God as the Almighty defender and protector and champion of me, of you, of all those who follow Him. But it makes a huge difference in how I view Him and how I now can see myself responding to passages like Psalm 99:1-4 with gratefulness, love and loyalty to my God.

And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we are like Christ here in this world.

Such love has no fear because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of judgment, and this shows that his love has not been perfected in us. We love each other as a result of his loving us first. – 1 John 4:17-19

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Weekend Madness Update

I spent most of this weekend doing research, re-writing and then re-re-writing and thinking lots regarding two projects I needed to complete. I didn’t. It’s now nearly 1am — I needed to be asleep by 11pm — and I still have nothing of consequence to show for my time. Maybe I’m not a writer after all. Maybe I’m just a wanna be….

I’m very tired, so I’ll make this quick. The weekend was also filled with March Madness, a strange disease that seems to come over Adria around this time. Even though her beloved IU isn’t in the finals, she’s still screaming her head off and putting her body — especially her hands and face — through a great many gyrations and contortions I’ve never known a body could do. Well, except maybe those weird acrobats in the circus….

The weirdest thing is, she’s got me doing it now too! Sheesh… here I am screaming and yelling, cheering and wailing, covering my face, hitting my forehead and making all manner of faces — all in the name of NCAA basketball, which, by the way, I know nothing — and I mean NOTHING — about, and which I didn’t give a rat’s a–um… behind — about in my life until Saturday.

In-sane. Now I know why they call it March Madness.

Sharon, a friend from Mosaic Nashville, came over late Saturday night and we watched the modern (or should that be post-modern??) version of Romeo & Juliet, had some wine and just had some good talk time.

Overall, it was a nice weekend. Relaxing and quiet.

There are still many things my spirit and mind are chewing on. Many questions stirring in my soul that my spirit begs to be answered. We had a very compelling conversation in our small group at Mosaic tonight — so much to write about! No wonder I’ve now got mental constipation (also known – to proper people – as  "writer’s block").

Wow, I’m falling asleep typing this! If I were writing with pencil there’d be all these squiggly lines down the page where I’d dozed off, my hand drifted down the page and the pencil went on a mad rampage at being ignored. Thank God my Mac isn’t so vicious.
I’m off to bed….

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Pray

My friend — and unofficially adopted sister — Cathy is going through a daughter’s worst nightmare right now. Her dad, 82, has been in and out of  the hospital many times in the last year or more. He was in the hospital last week, and on Friday she got the news that they had moved him back into C-ICU and put him back on a respirator.

Nina went to visit him today and lend support to Cathy at the hospital. She called me afterward and told me it was very much like the ordeal we went through with dad. All the nurses and doctors will say is that Mr. Scible "is very sick. It is still possible he may recover."

That’s hospital speak for, "he’s dying and their ain’t nothin’ we can do about it, but we don’t want you feel like we’ve given up on him."

Please. Just be honest. Give it to us straight up. Even if we can’t handle it at the moment, it’s better to know and be prepared than keep false hope alive.

I pushed "end" on my cell phone and cried a little before heading into Mosaic. I cried for Cathy and her impending loss. I cried for Mr. Scible and his suffering. I cried for Nina and her having to live through this thing all over again, albeit not our dad but someone else’s, but the same story nonetheless. And I cried for me. It once again brought back to my mind the still vivid images of mom and dad’s suffering and the fact that they aren’t here anymore.

Please pray for Cathy, her dad and her brother as they journey down this dark road together. Ask the Father to thwart the enemy’s every attempt to keep them from feeling God’s loving arms enveloping them and knowing and seeing how He pours out his grace like a heavy rainstorm and drenches them every day.