Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer.
From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe. I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings. For you have heard my vows, O God; you have given me the heritage of those who fear your name.
— Psalm 61Be at rest once more, O my soul,
for the LORD has been good to you.
— Psalm 116:7
Madness
Good weekend.
Led into crazy week.
And it’s only Monday — okay Tuesday morning.
I’m working at my new job full time. But I still managed to work 5 hours tonight at the old one, finishing up my work there, AFTER putting in a full day plus a little overtime at the new one (are you still with me, or have I lost you already?).
Got lots done — which was good. Still have piles to go. Not so good. Still, today was fun. I was busy with things I really wanted to do, creative things that interest and compel me.
Now I’m wired like tigger on speed. Great. Wonderful experienc at MIDNIGHT. On a WORK NIGHT.
No, I’m not frustrated. What would give you that idea???
The Reason
I got into recording engineering and sound reinforcement because of a couple of different bands I listened to often in high school. One of them, The Eagles, are still one of my all time favorites. I could listen to their music for hours.
Listen to any Eagles album, I don’t care which one and take a moment to see if you can hear every instrument…. count the guitars, listen for the bass, for the tommy drums, for the keys even the brass and percussion. It’s all there. You can hear every beat, every note, every strum. Without straining or struggling to make it out. It all blends together so well and at the same time can all be heard as distinct instruments and voices. Awesome!!
Now, tell me the engineer’s name. You can’t, can you. That’s great engineering. You can hear every nuance of these great musicians’ music but you never notice the "production". They never sounded over-produced or over-anything. Just great music. That’s a great engineer.
And that’s the kind of music I want to be a part of. You need great musicians to make great music. But you also need a great engineer to not screw it all up in the recording and mixdown process. That’s what I wanted to be. That’s what I still strive to be, every time I mix.
Tonight I happened upon an NBC special of the Eagles "farewell" tour. And I’m reminded once again of what excellent, awesome, amazing music is all about. And I think longingly again of working in a recording studio, able to just be a part of making something as great and beautiful as an Eagles album.
I love music!
Podcasting… it’s the new blog
Just discovered Mosaic-LA is now in the Podcast game. Check it out…. Mosaic Podcast.
PS — The link find is thanks to Tony Sheng, and apparently built by Lon. Thanks guys! You keep me more updated on my home church than they do! š
Don’t…
…rent a nice, new car for a long weekend trip if your car is old and run-down. Especially when you’re likely to spend most of your time in the car. Trust me on this. You’ll end up lusting after a new car and really disliking your old one. Not the best way to end a great weekend.
Man, do I want a new car!!!!
Love Is The Context For All Mission
Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. The commandments, "Do not commit adultery," "Do not murder," "Do not steal," "Do not covet," and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: "Love your neighbor as yourself." Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law. — Romans 13:8-10
Alex asked an interesting question and got a multitude of answers. As we dialogued tonight at Convivium about a pending "marriage" between our Mosaic community and another Mosaic community here in Nashville, this topic came back to my mind. We have made "Love is the context for all mission" our first core value. Because without it, the mission is empty. Here’s my answer to his question, "what motivates ‘leading people to Jesus?’ He’s been following our conversation about posting threads and wondered about the motivation behind that as well…. what do you think? why do you do what you do? why must we?"
I must because of Love. Because God loves me so passionately and madly. Because I love Him so passionately. Because He loves the world so passionately and madly. Because He daily pours His love over me, drenching me. Because He pours His love INTO me until I’m flooding the whole of creation around me with it. He opens my eyes to the world around me. I took that pill and saw the Matrix — I now know the Truth and the lies. And each day He shows me something new; I see the world through His eyes and fall madly, passionately in love with all humanity through His heart. How can I not? How can I not love them? How can I not fall to my knees in agony with them in the darkness? How can I not fiercely fight the enemy who’s tearing them apart? How can I not tell them the Truth of who they are, who they were made to be? I must because He is Love and to know Him is to Love.
To me, this sums up our first core value. God loves. God Loves. With a passion and a depth we cannot fathom. His love is endless. Nothing, NOTHING we do will ever make Him love us less — even if we spit on Him and speak of Him in hateful cursing.
He loves. And the more intimately I walk with Him, the more I love. I love Him more. And I love the things He loves more. The more intimately I walk with Him the deeper my love grows, the more capacity I have to love more, and love deeper, and love more passionately.
Love is what motivated God to create us. Love is what motivated Jesus to die on a cross, fight death and rise three days later to redeem us. Love is what motivates the Holy Spirit to convict and prod and teach and counsel and comfort. God, in all His trinity, is motivated by love. He pours His love into me — and I am motivated by love. I am moved by love into action for those whom He loves—through me.
Shiva Confirmed
Cathy’s dad died at 5:15pm ET. Memorial service will be Saturday morning at 11am.
I’ve been trying to book a flight or rent a car to get myself to Charlotte… my car’s been acting up a little so I’m not sure I want to drive it the 800+ miles. However, the cheapest flight I can find is nearly $600.
I’ll get there one way or another… Please be praying for Cathy and her brother, Irvy. They are crushed by this loss.
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
— Romans 15:13
Shiva
I got a call this morning from Nina. Cathy, our unofficially adopted sister, will be losing her dad any time now. He’s been in the hospital most of the year, but has consistently gone downhill. Last weekend the hospital summoned her and her brother to say their dad was nearing the end of his life on earth and they should come to his side. All his organs have pretty much shut down. This morning he started bleeding internally. In order to not prolong his suffering, they will take him off the respirator today and allow his body to die.
His spirit, however, is alive and well, and will live forever in heaven. This thought wasn’t much comfort to me after my dad died, so I know it won’t be much to Cathy. At least not right now.
I’ve been reading about the Jewish tradition of sitting Shiva. I think it’s a tradition we followers of Christ would do well to adopt. Even though we know our loved ones are now dancing in heaven with God, we still deeply mourn their loss. Sitting Shiva allows the grieving process to begin and gives the mourners space to express their grief and pain however they desire. Shiva only lasts for 7 days, but the grieving process will go on for the rest of their lives. At least there are 7 full days to just grieve and do nothing else but.
So often we in the Body of Christ are far too impatient and grace-less with those who are mourning a loss. We need Shiva. We need to give them room to mourn. We need to come together as a community, which is what Shiva provides, and mourn the loss with our brothers and sisters. We need to come serve them; with meals and cleaning, with memories of the person now gone, and with our silence. Sometimes there just is nothing to say, and in those times our silence can be more healing and comforting that our awkward words of consolation.
To all those who mourn, to all who have lost a loved one, my heart cries out, "HaMakom yenachem et’chem b’toch she’ar avelei Tzion vi’Yerushlayim. – May the Lord comfort you among the other mourners of Zion and Jerusalem."
Back Porch Blogging
It’s 10pm and it’s still 71 degrees outside. I love the South!!
I’m on my porch, enjoying the evening and reading friends’ blogs. I’ve also been watching a couple of lightning bugs float around the trees in the (small) forest a few feet from my porch. Last night, coming home from Mosaic I drove through Ellington natural preserve. As I came across the long field that separates the preserve from civilization I saw literally hundreds of twinkling lights — fireflies blinking and dancing in the moonlight.
I love this place. It’s so magical. Everywhere I look, at every time of day, there is something beautiful to grab my attention and arrest my soul. Trees with all manner of flowering buds, streams running under canopies of green speckled with sunlight, ponds and small waterfalls, fireflies, thunderstorms, rocky hillsides, log cabins and tudor-style homes sitting side-by-side, an amazing diversity of people — the old country folk, the aspiring musicians, true-blue artists, Indians (not the native American kind, though I’m sure they’re here too), Latinos, African-Americans, Moroccans, Ethiopians, Iraqis, Thai, Greek and Egyptian. And then there are the immigrants…. š
God is good to me. He gives me so much and seems to expect nothing in return. Last night it was the firefly field. Today is was good friends and good conversations. Tomorrow it will be a sunrise… and who knows what else.
I’m glad He loves me. I feel like the luckiest, most blessed woman in the world.
Learning Curve
"You are my witnesses," declares the LORD, "and my servant whom I have chosen, so that you may know and believe me and understand that I am he. Before me no god was formed, nor will there be one after me." — Isa 43:10
Nearly three years ago Beth Moore’s Breaking Free study challenged me with this verse. Do I really believe God? Not believe IN Him but BELIEVE Him? I struggled through that lesson for a year. Then everything else in my life fell apart.
Two years later I find myself faced with the same lesson. With God asking me, point blank, "Do you believe Me?"
It seems that I am re-evaluating everything I once believed about who God is. I realized recently that up till now I have pretty much rested in the faith of others, allowing their faith and belief in God’s character, their definitions of who He is and their trust in those definitions to carry me through life. I think God is using this time in my life, with all the losses I’ve suffered, to help me face the reality of what I really believe and re-examine if that is indeed the truth. Events of the last two years completely demolished my faith-house of cards, completely stripping away all I once trusted. I saw this as a horrible thing; a disaster equal to a 10.0 earthquake in downtown LA.
Until last night.
A couple of weeks ago I realized the truth that the events two years ago didn’t destroy my faith and trust as much as it uncovered my lack of it. Its as if God took my life, turned it upside down and shook it with mighty force. Everything was dumped out and I was left to pick up the broken pieces. However, I realize now that what I thought was broken from the shaking was actually broken long ago.
I’m not a more broken person now. The truth is, I was ALWAYS this broken. I just had lots of things in my heart and life I could hide that truth behind. I hid it so well, I couldn’t even see the truth of myself.
Again, I saw this as a "bad" thing. An ugly truth. A failure. An unfixable situation.
Last night God got in my face about another aspect of His character. I’m still struggling to believe Him. Was it really Him I heard? Or was it the enemy trying to puff me up? What is the Truth?
In the midst of all that questioning, and a long conversation with Adria, I began to think that perhaps all the shaking of my life isn’t such a bad thing. Perhaps all this questioning and seeking isn’t a bad thing either. At the end of it all I will know what I believe. And be convinced of its truth.
I want to know God. I want to believe God. I want to come out of this time of pain and fire refined by my encounters with Him.