Missed Me By That Much

Nashville_lightning I survived nature’s latest temper tantrum in Middle Tennessee, and it was a doozy. Well, for everyone but my neighborhood. We seem to have some sort of bubble over Forest Hills. I watched with rapt attention to all the news reports on all the local — even some nationwide — stations and kept hearing about how bad it was all over Nashville and to our north and south. Then I’d look out the window and see sunshine with scattered clouds. I’d step outside and feel an occasional raindrop, hear an occasional peel of thunder, but otherwise all was still, quiet, peaceful even. Birds singing and everything you’d expect from a beautiful but cloudy day.

At one point WKRN‘s city-cam showed an impending super-cell fast approaching. The weather-casters warned us a tornado had been spotted and those of us in Forest Hills needed to take cover immediately because it was headed straight for us. I stood and watched from my back porch as the tail end of that huge super-cell passed over us, darkening the sky to the north and east as far as I could see. Newscasters on every channel were reporting golf ball sized hail falling outside their studios and throughout Nashville. But sunshine was the only thing that poured over me.

Later, when the tornadoes had done their best in Gallatin, Hendersonville, Goodlettesville, Columbia and beyond, and all the newscasters were reporting that the worst had past and all was calm in Nashville, that’s when all hell seemed to break loose around my home. The wind blew hard against my walls, causing the hard rain to sound like huge bb pellets smacking into my windows, lightning flashed and thunder rolled. The lightning and thunder faded after about an hour and all that was left was the wind and the rain.

I’m so grateful to God I "missed out" on all the crazy weather earlier! My heart aches and grieves for the all those who lost property or loved ones. It was all so unexpected, and so fast. We knew there’d be "severe weather", but all the models I’d seen put the worst of it to the south of us. Certainly I didn’t expect it to slam those in the northern part so terribly. I’m sure they didn’t expect it either.

It did amaze me, however, that as I left my office — a little before 2pm — that everyone around me seemed oblivious to the danger at hand. Everyone seemed out for a Sunday drive, going lazily down the street with not a care in the world. Meanwhile, the am radio station I was listening to was broadcasting constant tornado warnings for Davidson county (our county) and saying a tornado had been spotted on the ground right near the 65. I’m yelling and honking and begging people to move so I can get home before it gets worse.

Yes, I know the warnings were for northern Davidson county, and yes, I know the tornado hit the 65 far north of where I was, but still. It wasn’t that far.

I’ve decided. I like earthquakes far better than tornadoes. There’s no warning with earthquakes. There’s none of this crazy "its coming right for you, take cover now!" weather-caster-driven anxiety that leaves a person in near panic for hours at a time and then exhausted for days afterward. Earthquakes just hit, bang!, and it’s done. No warning. No sirens. No intense newscasters. No changing your daily routine to rush home in time to get to a safe spot. No pre-storm runs on the grocery store as all of Middle Tennessee rushes to buy milk and bread —-what the… is that about anyway???—- You just go about your daily life till it hits.

Yep, you gotta be prepared. You gotta already have your supplies (are you listening Nashville?). You’ve got to already have a plan for meeting up, for getting home, for taking care of business until things normalize a bit. 

And I say, all of that beats this crazy "severe weather alert" weather caster-driven insanity Nashville calls "storm watch". Give me a surprise 6.7 (or 7.1 depending on who’s in power) Northridge quake over an anxiety-ridden tornado-waiting afternoon any day.

For great pictures of the devastation, go here:

Vay-Kay!!!!

Rain_drenched_1 Woo-hoo!! I’ve got an hour and a half left before I leave Nashville for nearly a week of vacation in South Carolina. I can’t wait!!

I’m flying out because Nina’s birthday is tomorrow. We’re getting massages at 1pm and then just hanging out in our relaxed states for the rest of the day. Friday will be full of shopping and Saturday evening we’re going to dinner and a movie. We’re also planning to spend some time scrap-booking together.

Ah, a change of pace, a change of scenery and a change of undies and I’ll be a new woman!

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about a several ish-uhs, as my pastor would put it, over the last few weeks. I started and deleted several posts about them because I just haven’t been able to properly translate what’s in my head and heart just yet. Perhaps this coming change of pace will help and I’ll be able to let you in on the thoughts rattling around my brain.

Bottom line: God is doing amazing things inside me, in my heart, in my soul. He is bringing clarity to things that have always been hazy, opening my eyes to new truths and aspects of myself that I never knew existed, and raining down grace abounding till I am drenched.  I have peace and joy so deep, such that I’ve not ever had before.

All these blessings are coming through, and because of, painful experiences, through many tears and anguish and through a purposeful effort to allow Jesus to sift me and heal me. God is taking all the pain, all the tears, all the anguish, all the anger, all the junk and creating something new. I don’t know how He’s doing it. I don’t understand how anyone could take the dregs of my life and heart and make such a beautiful, new piece of art. But then again, this is the same God that took spit and dirt and healed a man’s eyes; who took just dust from the ground and created man; and then took just a rib from that man and made a beautiful woman. Who know how He does anything??

Early today I remembered a passage God spoke very powerfully to me through as I was preparing to go to India. He made it clear it was a promise to me, and to our whole team:

"This is what the LORD says to his anointed, to Cyrus, whose right hand I take hold of to subdue nations before him and to strip kings of their armor, to open doors before him so that gates will not be shut:

I will go before you and will level the mountains;
I will break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron.

I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who summons you by name." — Isa 45:1-3

He is still fulfilling His promise. Isn’t that amazing!

Being the Beloved

I’m reading an amazing little book right now called "the Life of the Beloved" (see sidebar under "Currently Reading"). You simply must read this book! The first point of the book is that we, yes, WE my dear friends, are the Beloved of God. He calls us His Beloved, in whom He is well pleased. I know. This is something I’ve written about here before. BUT the cool thing is, here’s this reknown writer saying the very same thing that Jesus has been saying to me over and over and over for several years now. It’s feels soooo good to get confirmation from such an outside source that I truly am hearing the voice of my Beloved, and not believing a faery tale.

This truth is written all through the Bible, but so often we fail to read those passages, choosing instead to focus on what we think is required of us to "become" lovely and lovable.

God whispers it to us in the Psalms, in Isaiah, even Jeremiah The Depressing reminds us of God’s words to His people, "I’ve never quit loving you and never will. Expect love, love, and more love!" (Jer 31:3 The Message) He screams it from the highest mountains through Jesus’ death and speaks it to our hearts with every sunset, every thunderstorm, rain drop and cloudless day.

In Ephesians Paul reminds us, "Long before he laid down earth’s foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son." (Eph 1:4-6)

You and I, my dear friends, we ARE the Beloved of God. He revels in us every moment of every day. He sings our praises and dances with joy at the very thought of us. We bring Him deep and overflowing pleasure He delights in us.

So why do we have such a hard time delighting in ourselves?

Oh, the lies the enemy speaks to our souls! The lies we’ve heard from the moment we came out of the womb — perhaps even earlier — that we are not pretty enough, not good enough, not talented enough, not worthy of such unfailing love.

I believed those lies all my life. They shaped my opinion of myself and molded me into someone I was not meant to be; someone ashamed and unbelieving of my own beauty, my own loveliness.

But freedom has come. I am being untangled more each day from the chains that kept me locked in those lies. God speaks so freely and powerfully, each day. He speaks to me of His love. Each day He dances and sings, "You are my Beloved Daughter. In you I am well pleased! I made you and formed you; I called you by name long before you ever knew you had one. You are Mine. You are My Beloved. And I celebrate you every single moment of every single day."

I want this truth to so invade my soul that it infects every aspect of my life, however small. Think of how that will change how I live! It already is. Slowly, but surely, it is changing how I see everything, react to everything, how I move and breath and respond and live.

We are blessed, my friends. We are so blessed. God, the creator and sustainer of the whole universe, calls us His Beloved. He is pleased with us. No matter where we are right now, or what we have done — or are doing even at this moment. He loves us completely.

Is Silence Golden?

You tell me… since I haven’t been posting I thought you’d know best if my finally being silent for a bit brought a little gold into your life.

1_baaa

Never fear… this too shall pass and soon I’ll be my noisy self again.

PS — Nothing’s wrong — just thinkin’ more than I’m writin’.

Oh My!

I’ve been busy with Life and other things, which is why its been quiet here… But I had to share with you a post I found on my friend Clarice’s blog, written by her husband, Ian. Here a sampling,

"One of the joys of a firstborn child is all the firsts that the parents get to experience. Most of these firsts revolve around bodily functions. First green-black-tar poop. First brown poop. First triple-scoop soft-serve poop. First orange poop. First yellow poop. First liquid poop. First projectile poop that hits the wall six feet away. First pee onto baby’s chin. First spitup, pee and poop at the same exact moment. First Dad fart that could be blamed on baby. It’s all a joy and brings laughter to everybody present. It’s a universal truth that fart sounds never cease to be funny. Who would want to miss these baby firsts? Not me!"

Read the rest here.

Just For Larry

Since you believe (and rightly so, my friend) that I am much too complex to be summed up in a over-simplified personality "test"…. I did another one just to prove you right!

However, I gotta warn ya, this one is pretty on the money.


You Belong in 1973

 
  1973 



If you scored…

1950 – 1959: You’re fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in!

1960 – 1969: You are a free spirit with a huge heart. Love, peace, and happiness rule – oh, and drugs too.

1970 – 1979: Bold and brash, you take life by the horns. Whether you’re partying or protesting, you give it your all!

1980 – 1989: Wild, over the top, and just a little bit cheesy. You’re colorful at night – and successful during the day.

1990 – 1999: With you anything goes! You’re grunge one day, ghetto fabulous the next. It’s all good!

Wha’cha think?

Ah, I’m a Professor…

This was fun… till I clicked submit the first time and was equated with Lord Voldemort…
Blink_1

Of course I quickly hit the back button and re-checked my answers, corrected a few and… well, this looks much, much better… besides, anyone who knows me knows I’m not an INTP. Pah-leeze. (not that INTPs are bad, just not me…)

Pirate Monkey's Harry Potter Personality Quiz

Harry Potter Personality Quiz by Pirate Monkeys Inc.

PS — learn more about INFJs here

Play it Safe or Go All Out?

I’m tired. It’s been such a crazy couple of weeks at work. One project has consumed me — my time, my thoughts, even my dreams (bleh).  I just got two more projects today, and I’m still not done with the first one. All are presentations that will be given in the next few weeks.

In addition, God has His own project for me, a form of homework that is even more taxing. I got home tonight just grateful that tomorrow is Friday and I get to sleep in on Saturday (though Sunday morning its back to early morning sound duty… woohoo!)

I’ve been watching my favorite sport, women’s figure skating. It’s kind of anti-climatic since my counselor (or should I start call him my "life coach"?) revealed who won the gold without realizing I didn’t want to know. Grr…. Anyway….

0hb190np450x360_1Sasha Cohen had a rough night. She kept missing her triples in the practices and she missed them again in the long program. She still placed first and got good scores, but it was obvious all Shizuka Arakawa of Japan had to do was skate a clean program and she’d beat Sasha’s scores. So that’s what she did.

And that’s all she did. It was obvious that even though she could do the triples, she20060224p2a00m0na013000p_size6 chose to do doubles in order to keep it clean. She played it safe. And she still won the gold medal. It was a flawless performance. And a beautiful one. She deserves the medal, but the whole thing bothers me.

I guess my problem is that she chose to play it safe, rather than risk the gold in order to go all out, to just attack it full on and suck the marrow out of it. To me, if it were me, it would feel like a rather hollow victory. Because I’d played it safe.

Yeah. Right.

Except I live on the safe side of life. I always have. Oh, I walk on the risky sidewalk. Most of the time. But I’m on the safest side of that sidewalk that I can find. I’m like Shizuka. I’ve done the work, so I deserve the recognition for that. And I skate a clean program. But I don’t take the risks needed to be truly great. I don’t go for the triples and risk "deductions" or even a fall when the doubles will get the points I need to claim the prize.

5021114winterolympicsfigureskatingwomensBut that’s changing. Because I’m changing. That homework God’s got for me? It’s the triple; well, a triple, one of many yet to come. And I’m gonna do it. Even if I fall and fall and fall again; even if I get all bruised up or injured, even if it takes me the rest of my life (and it probably will) to stick the landing, I’m gonna do it. I’d rather attempt the triples, fall and get a silver than stick the easy doubles and take home the gold.

I’m so done playing it safe.