First, let me share with you what Marti wrote:

My church meets in an old warehouse, or anyway, the anchor to a defunct
shopping center. It was ugly. The old-timers kind of liked that, as it
harkened back to the day when they moved from one school to another…
they didn’t want things too nice. Nobody EVER got married there. After
we paid off the mortgage, fixed the leakin’ roof, etc, God provided a
major donor who gave a $1 million anonymous gift with no strings
attached. The mission committee got a tithe of it, which was cool, and
a lot of other good stuff happened too. Sadly, giving dropped; this was
about five years ago and we’ve yet to recover. However, somewhere in
there the elders decided to use part of ‘the big taco’ (as the $1
million was affectionately called) to build a new sanctuary inside out
building. It feels like a living room. It has niches for prayer. It has
pretty, ivory-colored walls. I was glad we didn’t spend all our money
on this, but it helps to have a comfortable, attractive environment. It
makes a difference. So does our new worship leader, and particularly,
his adorable wife with the great voice who leads our singing most
Sunday mornings. We sound great with her leading us. And she can do new
stuff, old stuff, in-between stuff just as well. I’m glad God gives us
so many ways to worship.

As I read her comment, especially when she began describing her church’s current set up,  I was reminded of the last six or so months of our old church plant here in Nashville (before it was decided the plant would merge with an already established Mosaic in town). We
revamped it after a jolting shift in our leadership, and part of the revamp was to completely change our approach to our "service" time. Instead of coming at it from a typical worship service mind-set, formatting it with music and then teaching, we instead approached it as if it were a giant Life Group (small group, or cell group; some now call them Community Groups). This one change in focus changed the whole dynamic and
feel of our times together, and opened the door for God to dwell among and within us at an ever deepening level. (please note this post continues after the jump — see below)

Truth was, we really were just and overgrown Life
Group anyway (about 30 of us at that time, I think) but we didn’t have
the community of a Life Group yet. What we really wanted, and needed,
to focus on was creating community, rather than creating another church
service. The best way to do that was to refocus our efforts on building
community first, then add the rest of the worship service elements
later. So we started meeting as a Life Group would meet — opening together in one large group with an ice-breaker and then a Scripture
reading, then breaking into smaller groups to discuss the passage/topic, finally coming back
together for the last 15 minutes or so to share our insights with everyone.

We revamped the space we had as well, turning the small television studio we rented into a large living room with old, hand-me-down (or thrown out)
pieces of furniture as well as donated pillows, rugs, and other such
living room accoutrements; in effect creating an atmosphere of warmth,
family, and home.  My friend Jamie, who is sick with talent (just
plain oozes talent period!) for creating powerful, attractive, dynamic,
inviting atmosphere was in charge of this aspect, and he did an
incredible job.

I. Loved. It. I absolutely loved it. It was an
amazing time. I had never experienced "church" like that — and never
have since.

I
think what our little MosaicPlant (I call it this to distinguish it
from the other Mosaic in town) stumbled into was what a "house church"
is really meant to be (including being reproducible). Nothing about it was conventional, and nearly
everything about it invited and welcomed anyone and everyone to
just hang out in the living room and experience God in the midst of
community. And we did.

I don’t think there was a night we met in that space, in
that living room, that we didn’t meet God there and experience Him,
perhaps even on a little deeper level than what we had before; that was true
for me, at least. I believe we created an atmosphere there, an ethos,
of communion with God; one that invited God into our space and made
room for Him to move and speak and settle in and dwell among and within
us.

It wasn’t perfect by any means. And I wasn’t perfect in it.
I still struggled with my brokenness, the damage done by abuse,
depression brought on by the deaths of parents and dreams, and the
frustrations of unmet (high, perhaps unrealistic) expectations
regarding the team. And all the others in the community brought their
own baggage, brokenness, and unmet expectations into the mix as well.
We banged against each other regularly and cut each other with our
jagged edges at times. But it was still a rich, dynamic time. It broke
my heart when the decision was made to end our Experiment and merge
with the other, already established church. What we created with God
there was unique and special. I have yet to see its equal anywhere.

I
realized recently that what I’ve been looking for in church here in
Nashville ever since is some form of our Living Room Experiment. I think it’s why
I sometimes long for that quiet reverence that can be found in high-er
church forms. There was something incredibly reverent about stripping
away all the eye candy and window decorations of Mosaic LA (the dance
and drama teams, artists creating during the services, loud large bands
and crazy videos and graphics) and getting back to the basics of
communing with God and creating community with and for others.

So today I tip my hat to the fearful and courageous leadership of Josh Shanklin. His fear led to much seeking of God and His
will for our team. And his courage infused us with courage to keep
going; to try to make this experiment work in the face of what would
have devastated and destroyed most church plant teams. I understand the
reasons behind, and the decision of, the merge and I respect both. But
I still sometimes grieve the loss of the Living Room Experiment, and
miss what we created together with God. And sometimes I wish with all
my heart that it had  been able to continue. I think we offered a
powerful alternative to conventional church — to even the Mosaic-LA
model of church — to a city in desperate need of something different.
And I hope one day I’ll get to be a part of creating such a place again.

In the mean time…. I serve at the pleasure of the King, in the place where He has set me for today.

Today he posted a kickin’ video that you just gotta watch. But do yourself a favor, put your headphones on and crank the sound. It. Is. Awesome!!

Aside from the sound, the visual overload of the video, both from the screens and the constantly shifting camera angles, took me on a little ride. It was good, but I realized something the first time I watched. While I’d love to participate in something like that for a worship concert — where it’s just singing and music and some prayer (accompanied by music); just worship — I’m not sure I’d want to "do church" like that every week.

I’m realizing more and more that I long for some of the old — dare I say it? — traditions; the quiet reverence, the sacraments, the sort-of high church feel. I’d probably tire of it after a bit; I don’t think I’m by nature a quiet, calm, traditional worshiper. But for some reason, right now my soul craves that. I crave a chance to sit silently in a sanctuary, get on my knees with others, and take communion in community in the midst of such a holy-feeling place. I will probably shock some with this statement, but sometimes meeting in a movie theatre does, for me, take some of the awe and reverence from the worship experience. If I weren’t such an aesthetic person perhaps that wouldn’t be so, but I am. So I struggle with the environments I find myself in during worship services, and sometimes they just don’t fit with what my spirit is craving.

What about you? What kind of worship services do you like? Is aesthetics, your surroundings, important to you, or doe it not effect you?

I miss mixing sound for worship services. But I also don’t miss it.

I miss the team camaraderie and the tight bonds of friendship formed between worship team members, including the sound team. I miss the feeling I get every time the worship team start really grooving, when the sound all comes together and you can hear everything perfectly. When I listen to the tunes that first compelled me to become a sound engineer — like I’ve been doing a lot recently — or to other songs from more recent years (aka not from the 80s) that are astoundingly well-mixed, I remember why I wanted to be a recording engineer so bad. There is nothing in this world, nothing, like listening to really great music perfectly mixed really loud on really big speakers. That is just THE Bomb! Man. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it till I die, recording engineers and front-of-house (FOH) mixers have THE best jobs in the world. —–I also miss the freedom I feel to really cut loose and worship when I’m behind the sound board. For some reason I just don’t feel that freedom when I’m just sitting in the congregation… weird.

But I don’t miss the early, early mornings for setting up or the long hours from set up to tear down. And I don’t miss the stress of trying to figure out what’s buzzing or where the white noise (that’s loud static, for all you non-sound peeps) that just suddenly appeared came from (as happened last night at our church’s worship & prayer event; however, I did quickly figure out it was coming from the "house" system and not our church’s one — you can take the girl out from behind the board… ). And I don’t miss the feeling of stupidity that slaps me in the face every time I’m faced with a question about technical stuff or expectations of fixing equipment. It’s the technical aspect that kills me every time. I just can’t seem to wrap my mind around it. —– Some times I think I’ll join the sound team at my "new" church  (been here nearly a year… how long is a church "new" anyway?). But then I think of the down sides and my technically-challenged self chickens out.

—Thought break—

I have a ton of posts in draft form and in various stages of unwritten-ness. The problem? So much to say, and so little ability to say it succinctly. So I tinker and edit and add and delete — and rinse and repeat. I’m hopeful most will eventually find their way to the "Publish" section of my post list. But right now they are, in all their draftiness, really bothering me. I don’t like things half-done….

PS — Marti, Alycelee — that 10-20-30 post is coming, I promise!

—A few other random thoughts—

There are times when I really love being single. This is one of them — though I can’t fully express why. I just am really enjoying the freedom and the privileges that come with not being married. It’s a nice feeling.

"Acceptance with Joy" — the flower’s name in "Hinds’ Feet On High Places" has been on my mind a lot lately. I heard a statement last week about acceptance that said, "If you are disturbed by something, it means you find some person, action, place or thing unacceptable." And that made me think of that little flower, and Much Afraid’s declaration, after considering all the twists and turns in her path to the High Places, and the desert she now found herself in: "behold, I am Thy handmaiden Acceptance with Joy!"

This really, really disturbs me (yes, it is something I find unacceptable), but I have yet been able to finish my post regarding my thoughts on it. I was at first so angry I felt sick. Now I’m just very sad. And concerned for the future of the IMB.

I start my Quantitative Literacy classes tomorrow (Algebra, Geometry, Stats, and general mathematics literacy). Pray for me! Math makes my brain go all fuzzy, and my normal intelligent self tends to disappear in favor of a glassy-eye, drooling zombie (not unlike Ben Stein’s students in Ferris Bueller).Pray for me (and my poor instructor)!

Final random thought for the night: This verse really smacked me in the face yesterday morning. I realized my gratitude to and love for God isn’t translating into generosity, and that stung rather a lot.

"But who am I, and who are my people, that we should be able to give as
generously as this? Everything comes from you, and we have given you
only what comes from your hand." — King David, I Chronicles 29:14

I’ve posted the lyrics to "I Will Show You Love" here for your spirit’s edification. Read. This is God’s love letter to you.

I will show you love like you’ve never loved before
I will go the distance and back for more if you just say the word

You will come alive again and call the trying times your friend
The pain that you have suffered through will never get the best of you
You will hope in something real that won’t depend on how you feel
When you call my name then I will answer, answer

I am on your side though the wind and waves beat against your faith
You were on my mind when the world was made
Trust in me my child, Trust in me my child

Walk out on the water where you have no control
So scared to death of failure you sacrifice your soul, please let that go

You have climbed an uphill road, You have worn a heavy load
You have cried through endless nights and nearly given up the fight
Watched your dreams like falling stars the heartaches made you who you are
Now looking back you see that I have always been there

I am on your side though the wind and waves beat against your faith
You were on my mind when the world was made
Trust in me my child, Trust in me my child

Where you gonna hide? Where you gonna hide from Me?
Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go that I can’t see?

I have heard you cry and it breaks my heart for I love you so
I would never lie, this is not the end there is still a hope

I am on your side though the wind and waves beat against your faith
You were on my mind when the world was made
Trust in me my child, Trust in me my child

Words and Music by Kendall Payne
Song available on iTunes

UPDATE: If this song really touched your heart, please visit Kendall Payne’s website and let her know by signing her guestbook. Also, all the lyrics to all her songs from this album (Paper Skin) can be found on her website as well.

‘Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to take him at his word;
Just to rest upon his promise,
Just to know, "Thus saith the Lord."

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust him!
How I’ve proved him o’er and o’er!
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust him more!

Words and Music by Louisa Stead

This song has been in my head for days, so I thought I’d put the lyrics up so it could be in yours too (aren’t I sweet!).

This was one of my mom’s favorite hymns. I remember many nights as a child hearing her play it on the piano after I’d gone to bed. She used to say her piano "practice" time — after us kids were in bed and her chores were done for the evening — was her worship time; her private time to worship God with her fingers, with her mind (as she sung the lyrics in her head, or out loud) and with her spirit. I fell asleep many nights to mom’s piano worship, as she played her way through hymns and Bill Gaither songs. I can’t think of a better way to slip into restful sleep. Perhaps that’s why as an adult I so often use music to help me sleep; especially when I’m stressed.

Tonight I’m listening to Casting Crowns sing this old hymn. I’m remembering my mom. But I’m also thinking about my own life. And how God has proved Himself faithful over and over; proved Himself completely, utterly and unconditionally trustworthy. Yet I still struggle to trust Him with pieces of my heart and life. I pray for grace to trust Him more.

Latin music isn’t just
about the beat. It’s about the heart. Latinos/Latinas feel deeply (believe me, I have friends) and it all comes out in their music. No one got that tonight. No one. Even Melinda was off. Blake probably came the closest, but even he lacked the passion needed to carry it off. And Lakisha, good grief! Stop wearing those halter dresses, girlfriend. Your back-fat was flappin’ all over the place. Oh, and as to the music, yep, you had the moves down, but completely lacked any passion in your face or eyes. Maybe you need to spend a week on America’s Next Top Model. Let Tyra show you all her "fierce" face moves.

The worst performances were Haley, Jordin, and of course, Sanjaya. But of course, we all know the latter won’t be going home, so I predict the bottom two will be Jordin and Hayley, with perhaps Hayley finally going home.

America must be deaf. And really, really stupid.  American Idol contestant Hayley makes it through to the top twelve while Sabrina doesn’t?? Worse yet, Sanjaya (or however you spell his name) makes it into the top 12 and Sundance doesn’t?? What the…???

And yes, I voted. Over and over and over and….. It’s just that I’m out-numbered by the really stupid, stupid tone-deaf people out there.

We now return you to more the important issues of life…

Holy presence
gentle brush of angels wings
creatures strange breathing heavenly breaths encircle the throne
still they are saying

Holy Holy Holy

Holy is the Lord God Almighty
All of heaven is singing
Holy Holy Holy

Holy is the Lord God Almighty
Who Was and Is and Is to Come

I have been so acutely aware this weekend all the blessings I have in life; all the things I have to be so grateful for. And that it all came from God. None of it came from me. I have family, true friends, the love of the Almighty God, redemption, salvation and more redemption, grace upon grace upon grace. I am known intimately and loved deeply. And I know intimately and I love deeply. I am blessed beyond measure!

Two beautiful, peaceful days of a giving-thanks weekend were followed by today, a day of agonizing pain. I’ve been struggling all day with a horrible migraine. The kind that leaves you moaning and crying in pain on the couch, with the blinds drawn and the sound of the tv/stereo down low. I’ve done all I know to do to quiet the pain, to no avail. I’ve done all I know to distract myself from the pain, to no avail.

Until just a moment ago.

Mighty God
Strong to save
who can compare?
The earth is Yours and all that is in it
And every knee will bow and every tongue will sing

Holy Holy Holy
Holy is the Lord God Almighty
All of heaven is singing
Holy Holy Holy

Holy is the Lord God Almighty

Who Was and Is and Is to Come

I haven’t listened Watermark’s Constant album in a while, but tonight I did. One song,  aptly titled "Holy", stirred my soul and brought out all the emotions I’ve gone through the last couple of days, the awe, the amazement, the gratitude from the depths of my soul.

Instinctively I closed my eyes and began singing and worshiping. For some reason images of sunsets I’ve seen all over the world throughout my life came to my mind. I could see them as clearly as if I were there. On my roof in India, on my veranda in Cyprus, on the streets of Japan, in Hong Kong, in China, in Ethiopia, at Windsor Castle, over the ocean at the beach in LA, in the mountains of Colorado, on the flat, flat plains of Texas, over Puget Sound, back to the rooftop sunsets in Delhi… I don’t know why the sunsets, except they are often times I stop to enjoy the beauty of God’s creation for a moment and take a little time to worship Him.

May You be worshiped on the earth in this moment
As you are worshiped there in heaven at Your throne

In my mind I threw my arms out wide in praise, in worship, and I guess my "real" arms just had to follow. Here I am sitting on my sofa wrapped in a blanket, head-banging migraine in full force despite all my efforts, but singing at the top of my lungs, arms open wide. I’m sure I’d look like a crazy woman to any peeping tom who dared look in my window. But I don’t care. My migraine robbed me of this day; a day I desperately wanted to contemplate my blessings, all my blessings – and especially the amazing 2-hour phone call I had with my brother from midnight till 2am this morning. I was too tired to journal all my thoughts and feelings after our goodbyes, but I figured I had the whole day today to write and meditate and remember. I didn’t count on a rebellion from within. It may have stolen the day, but it could not have this moment. This moment is mine, and I’m spending it as I desire. In worship.

All this time, even before You’ve been worshiped
All this time forever unending You’ll be worshiped
All creation singing

Holy Holy Holy

Holy is the Lord God Almighty
All of heaven is singing
Holy Holy Holy

Holy is the Lord God Almighty
Who Was and Is and Is to Come

© Holy by Nathan & Christy Nockels

So, here’s how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that’s playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don’t lie and try to pretend you’re cool and no disclaimers allowed.

Opening Credits: Piano Trio in G (largo) – Ludwig van Beethoven Beethoven’s Moonlight
Waking Up:   Everybody Has a Laughing Place – The Official Disney Album
First Day At School: I Can Only Imagine – MercyMe Almost there  
Falling In Love:  To Fly – Cindy Morgan Listen 
Fight Song:   Proem – Watermark The Purest Place
Breaking Up:  This is My Declaration – 4Him Walk On
Prom: You Are Holy – 4Him – Chapter One… A Decade
Mental Breakdown: We Are – Ana Spider-Man 2 Soundtrack
Driving: Treasures of Jesus – Steven Curtis Chapman All Things New
Flashback:   Loverboy – Billy Ocean Billy Ocean: Greatest Hits
Getting Back Together: Land of Mercy – 4Him
Wedding:   Real Live Woman – Trisha Yearwood Real Live Woman
Birth of Child:  Average Girl – BarlowGirl BarlowGirl
Final Battle:  It’s A Small World – Disneyland Chorus Disney’s Greatest Hits Vol 2
Death Scene: We Fall Down – Chris Tomlin Wow Worship: Green
Funeral Song: Lola, Lola – Ricky Martin Vuelve
End Credits:  Fighting for it All – Mindy Smith One Moment More

Well, that was interesting. Not quite what I expected but not too bad… I especially like the Wedding song. And the wake up song!  What do you think? How does your impromptu Soundtrack look/sound?

The building itself is amazingly beautiful, with its airy, open feel, clean lines and mix of stone and wood. But I think its the acoustics that enchanted me most. Granted, I was sitting in the orchestra section in the middle. Pretty much the best seats to have to begin with — and I have no idea how I managed to score such great seats, seeing as how I got my ticket tonight at the box-office, with the help of my friends who have season tickets (tip to the interested: find someone who has season tickets and have them purchase your ticket for you. They get a big discount on any extra tickets they get. It is sooooo worth it, considering tickets can cost upwards of $80).

Perfect seats aside, the sound was amazing — which is a very important thing to this little Soundchick. I had read in several different reviews that there is no accoustically
bad seat in the hall, and after tonight, I’m inclined to believe it. I could hear everything, even the smallest whispers of sound from any instrument on stage, and none of the dynamic range between pianismo and fortismo got lost in the engineer’s attempt to balance our listening experience. In fact, a few times I wondered if they really had need for someone to man a sound board at all, even though I could see a battery of microphones strung from the ceiling. Was I hearing the symphony through a sound system, or was I actually hearing them "unplugged"? I have no idea.

And the symphony, wow! They are incredible. I’m not a symphony sophistocit, so I cannot rate how our symphony compares with those in other cities. All I can say is that I thought it was beautiful, and I would have been happy to stay there all night listening to them play.

Tonight it was Mozart, and Sibelius. I love Mozart; have since I first remember connecting his name to his music. Sibelius I’d never heard of, but for the most part, I liked what I heard. Our conductor for the evening was Anu Tali, whom I found to be a delight to watch. And who shocked me with her youth (she graduated high school in 1991;jeez, I feel old).

The best part of the evening was, in my mind, the Mozart Concerto No. 5 in A major. Soovin Kim was the guest violinist. He was such a joy to watch! You could see his love for the music in every note he played. His face just shone with excitement. He made me smile and enjoy the music all the more just watching him beam as he played his 1709 Stradivarius. If you ever have a chance to see him play, take it; by any means possible, take it.

We ended our evening with sushi at Ru San’s. Oooooo, yum. You have got to try this place! I’m so not a sushi eater — raw fish give me the heebies — but I had veggie rolls with shrimp tempura inside that were absolutely To.Die.For. And the chefs and waiter all have way too much fun! I want me one of those cool t-shirts they all wear, "Got Sushi?" Yes. I am a happy, happy little camper tonight. It was the perfect way to end a perfect evening.

Photos from The Nashville Symphony website.