I couldn’t sleep much last night either. I was in bed in plenty of time, but sleep would not come. Same story tonight. It’s not that my body doesn’t want it. It’s that my mind just won’t shut up.

I’ve been restless for several weeks now. I’m hoping my mornings at the Y will help settle me for a bit. It’s like everything in me is ready to move on to the next project, except I’m not done with the current one. Why do I always seem to do this? I have to fight to finish what I’ve begun… the beginning is always more exciting to me than the finishing. It’s only when I already know I have another project awaiting my attention that finishing brings satisfaction.

So now I’m restless, ready to move on to…. I have no idea. But it’s not time to move on yet. Concentration is hard. Focus is ridiculously impossible. Today I moved from office to office, short task to short task — only to find my way back to Barbara’s office and collapse in the arm chair in front of her desk with a heavy sigh and ask, "is it time to go home yet?"

Ridiculous. Absolutely silly, I tell you. I have work to do, dang it. I have things that should have been done long ago that I’m still struggling to focus to accomplish. AAUUURRGH! I feel like I’m back in grammar school staring out the window at the beauty of spring, swinging my legs under my desk in a wide arc (because I was always too short to reach the floor no matter how small the chair) dreaming that I’m actually on the playground swings, soaring ever higher into a sapphire sky.

:::sigh:::