Is it real life, or is it reel life?

I don’t know when this all began in my mind, but I was very young when it did. I mean very young.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve lived my life like I was in a movie. It made life more interesting to play at home, do my chores, attend church 3-plus times a week, go to school — especially go to school — imagining someone was watching what I was doing at various moments of the day, to see life through the "eyes" of a camera lens — long before I ever had one of my own, I took in my surroundings as if I were a camera panning and zooming, tracking and rack-focusing. This propensity didn’t fade as I got older. Even now I will drive to work, sunroof open, music blaring, and take in my surroundings as if it were a scene in some movie, unfolding the drama of life with every mile, whatever cd currently playing becoming the soundtrack.

I watch movies and find msyelf captivated by the feelings and emotions they invoke. Just the simple pan-back, pull-out movement of a "happily ever after" type ending entices me to live, to have an adventure, to suck the marrow out of life. I see the beautiful sky, the vibrant colors, the joy, contentment, and rest our heros now enjoy and I want it. I want to experience it too. I want life to be like a movie. Adventure, drama, tears, laughter, love — especially love, the kind that fights for what is right, for what is best, no matter the cost — and happy endings. Especially happy endings. I could use one of those about now.

I guess I really am a drama queen…