I fell out of bed this morning.

No, really. I fell out of bed.

Realizing I was running late, I sat bolt upright in bed. Perhaps that was my first mistake. The room seemed to sway a little.

I tend to sleep in the middle of my bed, which is a standard double, and that’s where I found myself this morning. So I scooch over to the left side. I always get out of the left side of bed. Even though my bathroom is on the right side of the bed, I always get out on the left. Don’t ask me why. I just do.

So, anyway, I scooch over to the side and go to stand up. Now, my bed is one of those pillowy soft beds. So it’s rather tall. I can’t sit on it and still have my feet on the floor. Consequently, when I go to stand up from sitting on my bed, I have to slide my butt down the side a little before my feet hit the floor.

Something happened between the butt-sliding and the feet-hitting. I have no idea what. I just know I was suddenly very aware that the floor was rushing at my face at a rapid speed.

Then I heard a loud thud and felt a sharp pain in my forehead. Things came crashing down all around me. Books, my glasses, my journal. I looked up to see what I’d hit my head on and found my bed stand staring defiantly back at me. Wood can be very unforgiving.

I ended this journey on all fours, surrounded by the pillows I’d discarded from my bed last night, books, an open journal and a dvd — where that came from, I don’t even want to guess.

I was mad. I don’t know who I was mad at. I don’t even know who to be mad at in such a situation. But I was mad. My head hurt like crazy. I was confused. I wasn’t even fully awake, for goodness sake! Someone should pay for this!

I’d like to say I stormed into the bathroom in my rage. But I was still too dazed from my trip to the floor to storm anywhere. And I’m getting too old to to do that first thing in the morning anyway. I’m so stiff when I first get up that I look more like a duck than a lady. Lovely.

So I waddle into the bathroom and start my morning routine. It wasn’t until I was in the shower that I finally woke up enough to realize how ridiculously funny this whole thing was. And then I couldn’t stop laughing.

Not the healthiest thing when you’re face is under a strong spray of water…

So, that’s how I started off my day.